Nessie sighting confirmed

Breaking news: sighting of the monster from the deep has been confirmed

LONDON

In a breakthrough story today, we have news that there has been a confirmed sighting of the Loch Ness monster.  Earlier today, long distance cyclist Zebra Randello from the Gorbals, Glasgow, not only saw the monster from the deep, but managed to take pictures of it.  

When asked what he saw, Randello responded:

“Aw wit man ur ye scared ae Nessie?”

Not quite understanding his thick accent, we called in Detective Inspector John Rebus to translate.  Rebus asked again.

"A nod's as guid as a wink tae a blind horse"

Still struggling to comprehend the lone-wolf cyclist, who had clearly been on the road too long, we contacted Detective Inspector Jim Taggart to help with our enquiries.

"Whit's fur ye'll no go past ye.  I'm going ta skelp yer wee behind!"

A picture is worth a thousand Glaswegian words, so turning to the exclusive photos, it is clear that the monster is very visible, with bright red eyes burning fire.

We asked the CIA in Langley, Virginia to analyse the photos to confirm their authenticity.  Boss Hogg, on secondment from Hazzard County police, confirmed:

“Lordy be, Aah've got good phodos.   Lem-me put mah feet up - Aah'm taard.  Ah caint put own mah bray-own shoes ah-gain”

When asked if they were genuine, an interpreter for Mr Hogg translated:

“We uncovered the fact that the Moon Landing pictures were fake – done on Windows Paintbrush.  But our computers have confirmed that these are the real deal, yes siree”.

So that is it, two confirmed pictures of the Loch Ness monster.  Taken from Loch Lomond.

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I am clearly losing it, but back to reality I left Balloch at the south end of Loch Lomond a bit later than planned, around 9.30.  It was an overcast morning, but good to get on the bike and go.  To start with it was a bit frustrating – I knew I was cycling along the Loch but trees and woods were in the way to I couldn’t see any of it.  Finally the road opened up a bit.

The hills were covered in the clouds, which did not bode well for the highlands where I was heading.  One of my guide books had said to bring warm clothes ready for the pass of Glencoe, even in the height of summer, so I was prepared for some cold weather.

The views of Loch Lomond were great.  There were a few people camping on laybys, which would have been much better if the sun had been out.

The cycle track turned into this road, which was deserted – what a great way of cycling alongside the water!

Eventually I had to re-join the main road, which generally wasn’t too busy.

Past Sloy hydroelectric power station.   They don’t build power stations like this anymore – I thought it looked like a stately home from a distance!

Quick stop for lunch: coffee, sandwich and a cake in a small village called Crianlarich.

Then back on the road, when the scenery started to open up quite dramatically.

Before I left on this trip, I had lunch with my friend Bob who told me that near Glencoe there was a mountain shaped like a volcano – ie triangle shaped.  Everywhere I looked there were triangle shaped mountains… 

The scenery was fantastic, the sun was out and I had a tailwind.  Normally I plod along but I spent the afternoon spinning between 20-30mph on the flat – great fun.  I wish I could always cycle like that!

Because it is a Sunday, most people were leaving the highlands so were travelling in the opposite direction.  Therefore the roads going north were comparatively empty.  What a fantastic day!

I came across this lake which looked like the sea side.  The water levels in the lakes and rivers were very low – I’m not sure why as we’ve had tons of rain in the south of England this year.

The views were stunning, truly magnificent.

I then passed a sign saying I was entering the highlands.  I must confess I thought I entered them a couple of hours beforehand.

More volcano-shaped mountains.  Which one was Bob referring to????

What fantastic roads for cycling!

I came across these two different sets of mountains which both created a ‘U’ shaped valley.  It almost looks like the picture was taken with a fish-eye lens, such are the curves in the valleys.

Then in the pass down to Glencoe.  It did get noticeably cooler, and there was a massive headwind.  Even though I was going down a reasonable slope I needed to keep pedalling to keep a 15-18mph speed.

Finally Glencoe.  I had such a great day cycling that I could have gone on for a few more hours yet, but I pedalled a mile or so onwards to a small village called Ballaculish.  The B&B is a bit pokey but I’ve had a truly exceptional day of cycling.  And sniggering about Nessie...

Here’s a summary of the day.  Average 14.9mph, compared with 12-13mph on the rest of this trip.  What fun!

Tomorrow I head North East, past Fort William to Inverness.